Free Style

Giving it up for the same, just to get to remain
and my pockets stay evergreen
as i continue to stay low on the scene
victims to the blood and those spoken up as love
fighting off the stranger even tho with them i am not in danger
learning the alternative while forgeting what i was taught to live
love my 'love' while not acknowledging what's above
hunger stops as i feeds it with evil
and to repent, i need to....

i walk in circles just because
it resemble that gold wire around my neck that i love
chain to currency because honestly it makes motivation grow in me
pet names turned into bad names
so honesty and straight- forwardness is the new game

the morning is my friend even tho i wake up again to hear another morn and
phone calls from my friends sound like another loan and
the game of being nice and 'ideal' cannot be won
i am no different then the next other then choice
but i still see myself in a life, not given a choice

18 years and more to go
million lives to touch before i move on and so
speaking and writing whatever i decide and
walking and doing whatever i decide and
only to be reviewed in the end, stressing my sin
but right now i can only believe in love as i free style with life and look above


so chec-check me out, Be free to see my style, aiight........

To My Love~Chriz Wilson ♥♥♥♥♥♥

Dear Pacman ♥♥♥♥

Your feel is like a breeze flowing across me slowly, I escape the world as our tongue circulate bringing me into a world where no one exsist but us, not even insecurity know this place.

You mirror back me, repeating things I never said, "Complete-ly yours," I think as I look towards the future. Spending time together, spins us together connecting us on a new level every new time we see each other and I am satisfied and I feel loved and I love and know it's true.

Shy Chi ♥♥♥♥

4 (four) pages from the heart

Page 1 of 4

I don't know my blood.
The people that share my heart makes tears fall
I run away a lot while problems follow
I'll swallow my pride to fix a problem
Smiles stay on my face in an oppressive atmosphere,
I am broken inside
Unique by decisions, similar by experience
I am not alone but fight alone because I can't tell who's who
Different activities to satisfy my different personalities
Confliction and contradiction arise as I try to be true

As I walk pass some, so I won't have to fight all battles
Survival is prioritize, being a friend is not
Social and isolated, bold and timid
Overall humble, overall angry because I
Feel self-vulnerability to everyone else, being their prisoner
Tangible solutions for intangible problems
Alcohol for emotions, drugs for hurt
And death for life, I watch them leave and I stay
but only to help another survive
The generation next needs me, I believe as I advocate for improvement
I scream my lungs out to allow fairness to be heard
and stand and wait
and write and write to make right

Page 2 of 4

I listens to the wind's songs of sufferings from the ashes of the dead
It's breeze continuing in a repititive circle allowing the world to turn
I learn from the past of others to make my decision smarter and stronger
The labors of this world kills, so I refuse to go into labor for life
But instead I'll adopt the unloved and forgotten
Giving hope and love to an ophan or those unwanted
born from lust rather than love
Teaching them to look for answers in the sky above

I wish I didn't make so many mistakes,
mistakes that I regret, mistakes that I repeat
My compulsiveness make tempting things seem justifiable
The road to heaven is narrow and I am wasting time instead of walking
I grow maturer with understanding
And I hope that one I'll know what it means to be happy
I found it easy to learn hopelessness, unlearn it, and relearn it again
Joy is a hard word to define, I see it, touch it, and then lose it
5 minutes on a rollarcoaster and it's gone
It never comes home with me
It's unclear to me of how it works
Because it makes me happy to make others happy.
But sometimes other's happiness is produced by my disadvatages and some how consumes my esteem.

Page 3 of 4

Looking in the mirror, I am blind to the past of the past of the land of my homeland
as everyone fills it's history with ignorant stereotypes
Then I'm stereotyped and I believe I'm less,
a mess, and care less about myself.
But I learn to learn that people lie and the truth is another lie
So I define what is real by myself in order to end confusion by conflicting data

And friends I have a lot of, and drama I see a lot of
fixing their problems to somehow stop my hurt
as I ignore my problems and give attention to theirs
Names, labels, and words used to identify myself prove a false perspection of who am really am
I get called African-American more than smart, or loving, and caring
African American are called lazy, evil, and unremorseful
And I,..........
While it's not true for me but does create hatred in me for invisible oppression I see
I wake up to see the sun shine and began to smile because I see the sun shine.